What would Jesus do?

Funny story: the other day as I was leaving my friend, Todd's place in the Castro, I bypassed a couple sleeping on the sidewalk, who had erected a neat little card board sign tented over an open See's Candy box stating, "Just money or cigarettes please. No need to disturb."
I thought there was something terrible, but also slightly hopeful in that diorama, and I toyed with the idea of quietly giving them the $5 in cash I had in my pocket.
However, all the voices in my head, of friend and not-so-much, cried out, "Dan! What the fv{k do you think you're doing? What is it with you and this Messiah-complex, you have!?!?!"
My response to which was a nano-second pondering of "What would Jesus do?"--and as I was pondering, I continued my pace and walked on by the sleeping couple.
Surprise, surprise, but at the top of the hill at Market and Castro, where I was headed to catch the MUNI, there, was Jesus! (or at least some performance artist, done up in frayed robes, no shoes, a crown of thorns, and some frightening make-up, with arms outspread, limpwristed--I suppose tosuggest the Crucifixion.)
How often does one pose the rhetorical question, "What would Jesus do?" and have the opportunity to ask him (in real life, or something like it...?)
He was, however, adjoined by a young lady on whose face was painted agiant lavender peace symbol, who was silently engaged in some sort of pantomime or ASL, and for the few seconds I chanced to behold this quirky scenario, I thought the two must be in cahoots.
That assumption was quickly dashed to pieces when the girl snagged the hat full of loose change and tattered bills lyingat Jesus' feet and dashed nimble-y down the street.
I must admita disdainful snort escaped my mouth as the actor-portraying-Jesus totally broke characterand leapt down off his imaginary Cross and ran after the girl, shouting, "Come back here you fcuk-ng cvnt!" which I thought completely blew his credibility with any passersby (although I do not speak Aramaic, I doubtthe Original Christ had a term that would translate such an uncouth expletive--I think most Levantine curseswere scatological or animal-comparative in nature, and it was the Teutonic and Gaelic races who went for the sexual derisions, but then again, I'm not a linguist, so I could be totally wrong...)
Anywho, in one way or another, though, at least I got my answer.
"What would Jesus do?"
Jesus would kick-ass and take names, or so I am convinced. You gotta watch out for Number One (and try not to step in Number Two)--as Rodney Dangerfield once advised.
So, that's where I'm at.
Summer may find me in Fresno (withall probability) but I have no fixation on living in this wicked little town, trying to carve out a niche to call my own. I dare say, I am made of stuff more pure.